Mr Monk and the Waterworks
by Finished
Summary: Even a trip to the pool can’t be relaxing for Sharona.


Title: Waterworks  
  
Author: Amara (TofuDog)  
  
Spoilers: None  
  
Disclaimer: What you own is what you own, but I own this.  
  
Summary: Even a trip to the pool can't be relaxing for Sharona. Rating: G  
  
"Ew, I don't want to get in. Owgh, I can't do it." Monk complained. He stared at the sparkling blue water. People were taking up every inch of the pool, and that did not help either. "Look at that, Sharona." Monk pointed out towards the middle of the pool where the people concentration was the highest. "What?" Sharona said as she rewrapped the towel around her waist. "Somebody just took a big dump in the pool. I'm definitely not getting in." Monk said. He crossed his arms defiantly. "Adrian, it's a stick. Do you understand what a stick is?" Sharona said. She dropped her towel on the pool deck and slid her feet out of her sandals. "Do what you want, but I'm getting in." She said as she ran to the cool water. Oh, the day was scorching and Monk vehemently refused to get in. He placed his 'bacteria-free' towel on the hot concrete away from the people and sat on it. "Now, what?" He said to no one in particular. He could see heat waves floating up from the concrete. He watched Sharona splash in the water. The crisp water sparked on her skin. Oh, what the heck. Monk thought and walked up to the edge of the pool deck. Sharona swam over to him. "Get in. The water's fine." She said. Monk put his big toe an inch above the water just as a large man jumped in to the water. The waves splashed up onto Monk's toe and consumed his foot. Monk lost his balance at the startlingly cold and germy water and fell into the water. He went under and didn't come back up. Sharona dove under and put her arms around Monk. She swam back up to the top with a scared-stiff Monk. Monk gasped for air. "Wi.wi.wipe. I need a wipe." He gasped. He shivered uncontrollably. Sharona laughed. "You're going to need a bigger wipe than what I've got." Monk climbed out of the water and rushed over to his towel. He picked it up and wrapped t around him. He scurried to the bathroom. Once inside the disgusting bathroom, he found himself face-to-face with mold. He let out a little scream and ran to the sink. He pumped out as much soap as he could before it ran out. Frantically, he rubbed the soap on his legs and arms. Then, with a napkin-shrouded hand, he turned on the water. He carefully cupped his hands and rinsed off the soap. With a new napkin on its hand, he turned off the water and slinked out of the bug-infested bathroom. Monk walked to his towel and wrapped it around his shoulders as if to protect him from the bacteria. Sharona padded towards Monk and pulled her towel around her shoulders also. "I'm going to get a snack." She said. "Oh no, Sharona. The people at the concession stands don't wash their hands after handling the money. It's dirty." Monk stated. "You could get a disease like E. Boli or Salmonella. Who knows, you could get SARS. Please, Sharona, no!" "I'll take that chance. I'm hungry." As if on cue, her stomach rumbled. She walked to the concession stand and ordered an apple and a soda. She sat down and bit into her apple. She popped open her soda. She took a big swig and set it down. A large belch erupted from her lips. Everybody turned around and stared. "Sorry." She giggled. She finished her apple and threw the core away. "See, Adrian, I'm fine. No diseases."  
  
***  
  
Sharona bent over the toilet and coughed. She pulled her head back up. Now, that that was over, she went and rinsed out her mouth. "I shoulda listened to Adrian." She said. She gathered her self and walked out of the awful restroom. When she exited the restroom, Monk was nowhere to be found. She walked around the pool deck some three times and still could not find Monk. Finally, she saw a shape huddled in the corner. "Adrian, what's wrong?"  
A soft voice squeaked from behind the towel, "There's a cockroach in the pool." He peeked out from behind the towel. "Is it gone?"  
"Adrain, it's a bug! It won't hurt you!" Sharona said. She was about to give up and leave Monk with the roach.  
"Exactly, it's a bug!" He said in a small voice. Sharona grabbed the towel from Monk and pulled him to his feet.  
"You're a grown man. Not a child. It's a tiny bug." Sharona grabbed him by the wrist and pushed him into the water. Monk flapped his arms, barely swimming, but just enough to stay afloat.  
"WIPE!!!!" Monk yelled.  
  
***  
  
At home, Monk vacuumed his house three times, rearranged the refrigerator two times, washed his clothes and bagged his socks. He sat down on the couch with a thoroughly sterilized glass of water and smiled. Man, it felt good to be home again. 


End file.
